So I was watching a reality tv show over the summer and one of the people on it mentioned about doing the "walk of shame". The phrase itself is a relatively new concept as it was coined in the 1990s and originally used to describe college or university students who had spent a night out on the town and had to return to their dorms in the same outfit they had worn the previous night. This has since come to mean going out, hooking up with someone and staying at theirs which meant that you had to wear the same outfit as you wore the previous night.
But because of how shameful society is now, it could also be used to describe how we as people walk generally through life - ashamed of how we look, who we are, what we weigh, how different we are to others, etc. We spend so much time either looking at our feet or on our technology that we don't look up and walk with determination.
We are so used to being around people who put us down in some way that we may not always realise that we are being shamed. Being told that we're too much of anything for someone else's comfort that we dilute who we are to suit them. This is what needs to change.
The same person who mentioned the "walk of shame" actually had a really positive way to turn this phrase around: Stride with Pride. This is now something that I aim to do if not daily, then at least once a week.
I set a belated New Moon intention in July to write down one single thing that I'm ashamed of followed by five things that I'm proud of myself for. Because of the society we live in now, I'm opting to share these here so that you can feel empowered to do this for yourselves with no judgement or pressure. By that, I mean that if you don't want to do it, you don't have to - it is merely a suggestion.
In today's society, I think it's important to remember to have some pride for ourselves because we shouldn't have to fit in with the expectations or opinions of others. We should be proud of who we are, what we've done, what we've overcome, what we've achieved in our lives.
Too often as a child and even as an adult, I've faced comments about my physical size. Now, I'm not slim but I don't think that I'm massively overweight. There are two comments that stand out to me: the first was said by the mum of a schoolfriend when they congratulated me and I was confused about why. When I asked them, they said that I looked about 6-7 months pregnant and they were a little red-faced about their comment after I explained that I wasn't expecting but it really started my adult challenge with self-consciousness.
The second comment was made by a close family member several years after the first, when I visited for a day and after the initial hello's, they followed their greeting with "Don't you think you're getting a bit big?" but the word "big" was practically whispered at me. It was almost like being a larger size was something to be ashamed of. It really put a dampener on my visit and since then, I have cut contact with them for my own mental and emotional health.
I've been very self-conscious of my weight over the years but I've grown to love the size I am. I no longer feel like I might need to lose weight to fit in or feel good about myself. I don't have to lose weight to love my body at all because I am beautiful just the way I am. If others can't see that, then that is not my problem.
I have since put my new favourite phrase in two places where I will see it daily - on the corner of a mirror I see when walking between my bedroom and living room, and on a whiteboard where I note down things I need to remember. I also posted it on my instagram (my username on there is @crystal.runes.goodwitch ) because I felt like it needed to be shared more widely with the world.
I feel like this weekly activity is something that can help the world generally to be a better place, whether that's because we work together to make it so or we refuse to allow the shame of others have an impact on our individual lives. It's also something I want to remember to do daily and not just once a week because I really think this idea could change the world. We're so used to being shamed that remembering that we should actually be proud of who we are is almost alien now.
I've been a path of self-discovery this year, largely through Shadow Work, and I've come to realise that I've been carrying a lot of shame with me over the years. But I don't have to carry that shame anymore because I have so much more to be proud of that shame no longer has a place in my life.
I hope this inspires you to stride through your own lives with pride, safe in the knowledge that you are worthy of feeling that pride. There is nothing stopping you from being proud of yourself, especially when others try to put you down. You may also want to consider writing all the things you are proud of yourself for being, doing and achieving in your life and keeping them in a jar or box that you can then open and look through whenever you need a boost of confidence and pride.
If no one else says this to you, I am proud of you for being who you are and achiving all that you have so far in your life.
Peace and love to all!!
コメント