So something that came up recently for me is that I need to work on my self-care routine and I've been trying to make a concerted effort to do more about this. One of the ways I have done this is to pull some cards for myself on a Monday from my Self-Care deck and another deck that I feel at that moment can help me for that week.
I mentioned in a previous post about Self-Love & Self-Care the cards I initially pulled for myself so I'm going to explore the ones I've pulled since then.
From my Self-Care deck, I pulled two cards: "Let them in" and "Take baby steps". With the first, it's not ever been easy for me to open up to others and actually say "I'm not okay" or "I'm having a difficult day". This is something I'm working on so that I can emotionally connect with others on a deeper level but I think it stems from my childhood where my emotions could never be on show or publicised in any way. The second card is a reminder of something I've been doing over the last 10 months where I have broken certain goals into smaller tasks to make it easier for myself to then achieve. (I might have mentioned this before but in December of 2021, I decided that I wanted to always have a home that I was proud to have unexpected guests visit so I cleaned my home in a week and I've made an effort since then to try to keep on top of all these tasks.) It's definitely something that I want to continue doing as I'm actually proud of myself for being able to do this on my own without needing anyone "nagging" me to get it done or having to rush and do it the night before or day of a visit.
One of the ways I have subconsciously put the second Self-Care card into action is by going through my wardrobe and setting aside all the items that I haven't worn in months (or years) or that no longer fit me. I tackled this goal with four tasks: first, going through the clothes hanging in my wardrobe; second, going through the tops I have folded up in a drawer; third, going through my trousers and skirts that were also in their own drawer; and finally, re-organising my wardrobe so there are fewer items of clothing per hanger. When I did this, I hadn't planned to do it but I felt within myself that it was time to do so as there were plenty of items that I haven't worn in a long while.
I did attempt to pull cards from my Self-Love deck but I chose to use a different deck after feeling like it wasn't the right deck to use. So I used a mix of three "decks": cards that accompanied the Herbiary, Crystallery, and Bestiary books by Maia Toll. I got three cards from this mixed-deck: Turquoise, Passionflower, and Elestial Quartz - two crystals and a herb. Each card came with a phrase or keyword that could help to discover the message that they hold.
With Turquoise, the phrase is "Find Your Way Home". This is an interesting idea because when I moved into my home, I actually felt peace for the first time in a long time and that peace has only deepened the longer I've lived here. I feel like my soul has come home with where I'm living. In the book that accompanies the Crystallery cards, Turquoise has a reflecting of what it means to be at home or feel at home. That while I do enjoy my creature comforts and familiarity of home, I can be bored and on the lookout for the next mental adventure that I can take (I usually refer to these as research rabbit holes that I can very quickly get lost in).
Two other reflections that are included for Turquoise are very interesting. The first is about what might be possible when guilt and fear are released so that you can then really look at your desires. This is really poignant because they are the biggest things that can hold us back from truly achieving our fullest potential. I know that I'm my own worst enemy and that I will hold myself back when I am filled with fear and guilt. This is something that I've been working towards this year as part of my Shadow Work.
The second Turquoise reflection relates to what happens when I accept that my tensions and desires, that seem to conflict, can be used to create balance. This is interesting because balance can always be found within any situation and the same energy used to stress and worry about any issues can be better used to find a way to move forward. This then creates balance rather than even more conflicts than we need to deal with.
With Passionflower, the phrase is "Exuberant Quietude". This is quite an interesting card because the energy of this particular plant is rather similar to my own "squirrel-like" curiosity. I am easily distracted by any and all topics which means that researching anything is rarely straightforward. But at the same time, I'm always excited and enthusiastic about learning as much as I can. This is essentially the energy of Passionflower but there's an element of balance with this, of doing and not doing, waking and sleeping, etc. With Passionflower, everything gets equal attention and energy to achieve whatever task is in front. This is something that I've been working towards recently and I'm rather proud of what I've managed to do for myself and how balanced I'm now feeling.
But the reflections for Passionflower are intriguing. The first is about which parts of my life I feel joyously engaged with. I feel like recently, I've been working on addressing the imbalance that has been in my life from putting all my energy into this blog, being active in certain parts of my social media, making plans for my YouTube channel, and looking after myself. I knew there was an imbalance but I'm now in a place where the balance is more equal and I feel more able to accomplish certain tasks within all areas of my life.
The second Passionflower reflection is whether I've lost my passion for some aspects of my daily life. If this question had come up 18 months ago, I would have said "Yes! Absolutely!" because I wasn't a fan of housework and keeping my kitchen clean and tidy but now, I've fallen in love with having an organised and tidy home and keeping on top of the washing up, my laundry and not allowing my rubbish to take over my kitchen/home in general. I have grown to like this feeling of being clean and tidy, despite it still having an alien feeling to it. I've proven to myself I can do it and I can actually be a mature adult.
The final reflection for Passionflower is asking whether I'm just trudging through my routines without any passion. Again, if I'd been asked this 18 months ago, I'd have said "Yes" but with where I am presently, I don't feel as if I'm going through the motions automatically. Now that I've embraced this new organised side of myself, I feel as if I have more control, like I am better positioned to deal with whatever I may face next regardless of what it may be. No two days are the same which is great for me because I'm not a fan of doing the same thing every day with no changes or flexibility.
With Elestial Quartz, the phrase is "Become Inimitable". Admittedly, I had to look up the meaning of "inimitable" and I was pleasantly surprised that it means to be unique but I prefer the additional meaning of it: "so good or unusual as to be impossible to copy". This card is all about being so authentically your own self that you can't be copied and this is so empowering. I try to be my own self and not copy anyone else. Elestial Quartz comes with three reflections and the first is all about the judgements I might have around my own aging. I have always said that I'd like to grow old (dis)gracefully, without using any kind of cosmetic products because I want to buck the trend of needing to look absolutely perfect at all times.
The second reflection is all about my first thoughts when I encounter an older person that I don't know. I try to defer to their knowledge of life but at the same time, I try not to let their generational differences be an obstacle to having a discussion about anything at all. Their generational experiences are different to the ones that my own generation have had but this doesn't mean that I shouldn't try to understand them and try to relate to them or at least give them the space to be themselves.
The third reflection relates to how any ideals I have around gaining wisdom inform how I treat people who have gone through the wisdom-gaining process. I'm not sure about this one because I want to learn from anyone and everyone so I try not to let any personal "prejudices" I may have become obstacles that hold me back from actually learning. I know that this is something that I've learned a lot about the dynamic between myself and those who are older within my family to try to heal the karmic wounds that otherwise might have held me back later in life.
All in all, these cards really made me look at all this personal work that I've been doing as well as my Shadow Work, and I actually feel as if I've made a lot of progress. And I'm owning it because I'm proud of myself for achieving this inner state that is influencing my outer world and benefitting pretty much every aspect of my life.
I hope this inspires you to look through these reflections for yourselves but also to consider what Self-Care might actually look like for you.
Peace and love to all!!
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