Shadow Work is so personal because we learn about ourselves and this is one of a few exercises that are suggested in the resources for this module of the Priestess Path. But a lot of people don't necessarily see Shadow Work as being particularly magickal or witchy - but I think it's integral to discovering and knowing every part of yourself and your own abilities, as a witch and a person.
I chose to do this exercise because I don't like to analyse myself or look at myself how someone else might see me (possibly because of being heavily criticised as a child) but I wanted to push myself out of my comfort zone so it's the exercise I have done.
It felt a bit like scrying because of using a mirror and a candle but instead of just receiving answers to a question, I was receiving insight about myself. Obviously, Shadow Work is focused on us as an individual so this was really interesting to do.
I lit a rose and coconut scented candle and I hadn't realised until I looked into the associations for rose and coconut why it felt so right to light this particular candle. I do have quitea collection of candles so I have plenty to choose from. Rose has always been associated with the various forms of love but they can also be used for developing psychic knowledge and for increasing intuition. Coconut can be used for purification, protection, water and lunar rituals. So with this combination, instinctively choosing this candle was absolutely right for this exercise.
So, to start the exercise off, I grounded myself with my favourite method before getting started. I played Skugge by Wardruna in the background as the title translates to "Shadow" and I felt it was highly appropriate. I sat in front of a mirror with the lit candle in between.
I made notes on every part of this exercise - from what I notice about myself, to what others may notice about me when I first meet them. I didn't compare the two lists then as I'll do that here but I did go on to do the final part of the exercise which was to use the candle to scry and consider what the purpose the shadow veil and stories hold. For each part, I set a timer for about 5 minutes for myself but I could have taken longer if I felt the need.
Now for the serious business of tell you what I saw and noticed about myself. This was the hardest part because I am my own worst critic (as we all are about ourselves). I am not slim but I am slightly overweight. At the time of this exercise, I hadn't brushed my hair so I also looked a bit unkempt. I also have a spot that is healing in the middle of my forehead. I don't wear a lot of flashy jewellery - one ring on each hand, my dragonstone crystal with a pentacle pendant on a long chain around my neck, an amethyst bracelet plus my lip and nose piercings. I still have some "childish" interests (minions on my pyjama trousers when I did this exercise) as well. I have rounded shoulders, almost like a scholar but they also make me look lazy. I have a strange hairstyle, and the best way to describe it is long on one side with the other side almost completely shaved (unless I haven't had it trimmed in a few months). My hairstyle looks like I couldn't decide which one to have so I just went with both. I do have tattoos, 2 visible on each forearm with more that were hidden by my clothing, but I feel as if my tattoos are a sign that I'm not afraid to show who I am to the outside world. And partly because of this, I don't look like I'm bound by the norms of today's society. The last thing that I noticed about myself is that I have a very serious face - I call it "resting witch face" though.
The second part of the exercise was looking at myself from the perspective of someone meeting me for the first time. Some things that I noticed this time are similar to what I noted down before, like perhaps needing to be more active and being comfortable in my own body. Another similarity was that I looked too serious and could benefit from having more fun in my life. I appeared to be very individual and owning that through my tattoos, hairstyle and piercings. I seemed to have sad eyes that had maybe seen too much pain but there was also a hint of strength that had been used to overcome the pain. My body looked like it was trying to curl in on itself with rounded shoulders, possibly in an attempt to protect myself from any further pain. I didn't appear to be perfect as there was a blemish on my forehead. From a serious gaze, I came across as private, without giving away much information in my seated position.
When I was looking at myself in the first part, I definitely focused on how I look physically and some of this perspective came though in the second part. In the second part, it was almost as if I had taken on a therapist type of role, wanting to know the reasons behind the physical "symptoms" that I could see. I felt less self-conscious in the second part of this exercise, almost like I was an outsider attempting to look within my own soul.
In the final part of this exercise, I used my candle to do some scrying while considering what purpose the shadow veil has, as well as the purpose of the stories that reside within the shadow self. I feel like the shadow veil is what shows the difference between the conscious and un- or sub-conscious selves. While scrying, I also felt that there is a huge disconnect between these two parts, possibly because in today's society, we focus so much on wanting, needing and achieving the next "big" thing and we're always in competition with someone else to be "The Best". We're not connecting with our own individual selves and standing up for who we are by simply being true to oursevles - there's a clue in the name we have given ourselves: human "beings" so we're not human "doings".
Partly because of this disconnect, the stories that we can discover during shadow work can show us where we need to heal the most. For example, in both the first and second parts of this exercise, I noted that I was overweight but in two different ways - stating it frankly and openly, then saying that I could do with being more active. The first is my own voice while the second is a voice that belongs to several different people I have encountered in my life who have criticised me about my weight. I think the voices that go along with the stories also show where we need healing - within the relationships with those individuals. The stories can help us to shine a light on the parts of ourselves that actually need healing, as well as teaching us how to heal ourselves. I think these stories can help us to find our individual flow and rhythm which then leads us to collectively find a flow and rhythm.
I felt as if the veil and stories serve to shine a light, to teach us that by healing our own shadows, we can start to heal the shadows of the collective. By learning about our own veil and stories, we can heal ourselves which then leads us to finding all of the parts of ourselves that got lost at the time our inner wounds occurred. There's a huge domino effect from doing shadow work: we find our lost parts, heal ourselves, become whole again, find our inner flow, start to heal the collective, and then find a greater collective flow. By healing ourselves, in a way, we also are doing ancestral work because some of these hurts could have been experienced by our ancestors and by healing ourselves, we also heal them.
This is just a part of my Shadow Work and I look forward to sharing more of my journey with you as I do it.
Peace and love to all!
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