This has started to become a yearly project that I do so it's time for another Story written with the help of Tarot/Oracle.
I use Numerology to find out my Life and Year cards by adding the individual numbers together that make up my birthday (day, month and all 4 year numbers) until the result is between 2 and 21. This means that neither The Fool nor The Magician are never a Life or Year card.
Previously, I've used my Forest of Enchantment tarot deck but this year, I fancied a change and was going to use my Celtic Dragon deck when I suddenly had the idea of using my Triple Goddess tarot deck instead.
Once upon a time, a portal opened birthing me into the world, a seed ready to blossom, full of power and determination, the kind that won't allow anyone or anything to stop, distract, or delay me from achieving my desires. I was a seed full of that hard-headed, stubborn ram energy that would prove to the world that I can grow and become without their support or belief, even if I might prefer the opposite.
But at the same time, I wasn't surrounded with family or friends, for they have either proven unnecessary to my life or had been scared/kept away by my unapproachability.
I was lonely and left to grow on my own with little to no guidance from those who could guide and teach me the ways of the world.
So I grew in my own way, protective and more fierce than anyone could have known.
As I grew, so too did my curious and powerful gifts. I developed an affinity with the written word, with wielding my intentions by spelling them out almost literally. I was inspired to walk and work with the Goddess in Her forms as Maiden, Mother and Crone.
In Her form of Maiden, She brings me new ideas and beginnings, showing me how to start them off, even if that's as far as I choose to take them.
The Mother then comes to show me how to nurture and care for them if my intention is to let them grow and mature. She comes to help me nurture my passions and keep a written record of my progress.
As the Crone, She comes to guide me to the results I desire, as well as to a few that I would prefer to avoid. She guides me through every lesson as she has seen everything before.
One seemingly perfect day, a message arrived in the form of a knowing and I was required to sacrifice my negativity, my bleak outlook on life/the world, and my inner battles with the Darkness that wishes to consume everything. I had clung to them and sat with them as well-known, close friends for long enough - maybe even too long - and so it was time to leave them behind so that I could welcome positivity, an outlook of wonderment, and an inner relationship with the Light that wishes to comfort and illuminate everything it can reach.
It was finally time for me to sacrifice the mentality that ensured I would only lie on the sidelines rather than stand centre-stage and accountable for my thoughts, actions and lifestyle.
It was time for me to cast off the dark garb I had worn for so long and used for comfort.
In the aftermath, I looked in the mirror and found reflected the desire to leave behind the comfort and shelter of what I had known for so long. Reflected in the mirror, I saw that I was surrounded by a forest of an unknown size which held unimaginable and mysterious adventures within its depths.
The Goddess came to me as a guide in the form of a stag with its majestic crown of antlers. She was offering to guide me to wherever I wanted to go as all I would need to do would be to follow her.
Even the birds were showing me what true freedom looks like: living where I want with whomever I want, travelling wherever I desired to go, and all while being present in the world, seeing reality for everything that it is: the good and the sad.
But I was being shown the choice that was before me: the choice of staying safe and comfortable or exploring the world.
A shattering occurred, the constructs of my old beliefs fell away and a new story emerged where I did explore but in a way that no one, apart from the Goddess, could have expected. I went within and it was a deep dive to the depths of the caverns of my soul. A solitary path opened up before me but I knew that along the way, I would need to defend myself from the constructs of myold beliefs with my new beliefs, or I would need to just defend my new beliefs. But this path was not fully illuminated all the way, so I knew that I would need to be ready to defend this new way of life without appearing to be ready until absolutely necessary. Dwelling and walking in and through the shadows allowed me to understand how truly not-fearsome the darkness was. In turn this brought a deeper relationship wiht my own cloaked Self.
One initiation after the next led me to my most recent birthday when the omens foretold that the gates would surely be thrown open to me and my life would be filled with beautiful, abundant, golden energy. After having climbed through everything life had thown at me, it was time to have a break and enjoy life for a while before being reborn and remade again. As this phase of life came to an end, it became clear that this cycle of soul-searching, this period of self-discovery, was making way for me to recreate my soul identity. The omens seemed to indicate that this would be a phoenix moment: where I would die in one form but be reborn from the ashes that my soul's fire would create. I would be able to shed the energetic shroud of my old life so that I could truly experience and embody the golden abundance that was waiting for me behind the gates that are ahead of me.
New gifts arrived in the shape of messages from the Crone Goddess, which were usually sent via birds and trees, by the natural beings She has ensured I am surrounded by. These messages would appear to me regardless of where I happened to be whether that was outside my front door, on a balcony or sitting inside by a window with a view. No matter how obvious these gifts were (or weren't), I knew the messages themselves would become clearer with time and the more effort I put into working at understanding them - even if that in itself took some creativity to manifest. I knew that the Goddess would only send me what I needed to know and that She would send it when I needed it so in reality, patience was the greatest gift I could receive from Her. Even if I did miss a message, the Goddess would always try again and in another way to get me to see what She was telling me.
Yet still, as the clock struck the witching hour, I was haunted by the ghosts of self, appearing as an ungrateful and wishful day-dreamer who spent all of her time lookig out of the window wistfully at the apparently better lives of others. These ghosts showed me how little gratitude I had shown for what I had because I never took the time to look around me at the bigger picture. I was unable to see that I had much more in my life that I could have celebrated. I had so much joy that I could have shared with the world to activate the Law of Attraction in a positive way for everyone. The ghosts came to me now, filled with encouragement that I had started to turn away from the way I used to be and that I should continue with this. They wanted me to celebrate this milestone as part of my journey with Gratitude so that I could then be an inspiration and mentor to others.
As the shell of Winter cracked and the Spring whispered soundlessly, the ghosts made their needs known by showing me that I still have plenty to learn and integrate into my life. While there may be times when I might feel that I have to keep my nose to the grindstone of books, the ghosts ensured that I understood that learning can be fun and full of revelations. Studying also doesn't have to be serious or solitary as I can still have fun and spend time with like-minded friends. There is more light to be found by nurturing my natural curiosity and yearning for more knowledge. The ghosts made sure that I knew that I needed a focus for my studies but that the various "research rabbit-holes" I encounter have their own place and time so keeping track of them in the form of a list would then allow me to peruse these other topics at a more appropriate time in the future.
In the deep sleep of integration, prophecy bled from dreams and slid into the now with the promise of change and transformation. In the dark of night, there is still work to be done that can turn the Wheel of Fortune or Fate in my favour. The presence of light is still there; and that light might be better known as positivity or even abundance. If I am willing t put in the hard work, time and effort, then there is nothing stopping me from cloaking myself in the magick I have the potential of co-creating with the Goddess. But I won't be alone as the Goddess will send me companions and guides along the way so that I don't lose my motivation or hope. I may not be able to see how my projects will turn out, but the Goddess will help to boost my will to complete them. The Goddess showed me that I am and always will be free still to weave my own path and story - regardless of any prophecy.
The ancestors and descendants gathered as guides and offered solitude by the waters edge so that I could come to know and understand my own Self and emotions better. They also offered me the opportunity to find my own personal flow, to follow the flow of my own intuition, my curiosity and life. I was offered the chance to dive into the depths of my very soul, as shallow or unfathomable as they are. Even the Goddess came to witness my choice as it would be informative towards my relationship with my Self, but also towards my relationship with Her. I was given the chance to stop looking back and allowing my past to dictate my future by merely giving myself permission to be cleansed of the burden it caused. But this brought an important question to my attention and highlighted it: Was I really ready to let go of my past so that I could make room for my future?
My future Self reached back across time, wisdom echoing with a message of encouragement and confidence. In that moment, knowing how unsure and lost I felt, this future Self of mine appeared to give me that extra nudge to ensure that I could move towards my future as unburdened, protected and motivated as possible. My future Self gave me hope that no matter how dark and despairing life might be, I would always be able to come through it and into a golden-energy-filled time of abundance but only if I kept hold of my determination and will-power to stand fast in my intentions and making them real and manifest in my life. But this future Self of mine also came with a warning for me: that I needed to make sure I could control and rein in my desire for tangible forward-moving progress because progress comes in many forms and sometimes results in no movement at all.
In the end, my next beginning was born and it was filled with so much joy, gratitude, generosity and abundance! I was comfortable with who I was, what I had experienced, and everything that had led to this point. The wealth I had was shared through gifts to those I loved and the life I desired for my own. I was able to express my gratitude for everything and everyone in my life that had somehow brought me joy in the past. This new beginning was filled with the golden light that the omens had foretold previously. I was filled with wonder at all of the amazing things in my life and that I was surrounded by in Nature. The knowledge that I could brighten someone else's day (or even life) gave me an overflowing of heartfelt joy because I could embody unconditional love, just as I have been shown by the Goddess. This next beginning could only start from the last ending though.
Well, that was rather interesting. I love how the story flows but what really surprised me was the presence of the Goddess throughout. While I used the Triple Goddess Tarot deck by Jaymi Elford, I did so because I felt the deck itself wanted to be used but not because the Goddess is on almost every card in some form.
Now I'm sure that I need to figure out which form the Goddess would like me to work with as this is definitely a sign that I cannot ignore. She has called to me as both Diana and Hekate so there's a decision to be made in the future (look out for this in a future post!).
I hope this inspires you with how you can work with Tarot to be more creative, regardless of whether that is through story, poetry, or some kind of artwork.
Peace and love to all!!!!
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