So there was a New Moon in Gemini at the end of May. Gemini is the sign of communication, and because of its duality, it's also about seeing multiple sides of situations. This lunar phase has two parts to it: the first is the New Moon which is all about new beginnings and new intentions for the next cycle, but the second, despite happening just before the New is the Dark Moon phase. Not everyone who follows the lunar cycle recognises the Dark phase as but I think it's good to at least acknowledge that it happens.
Some say that the Dark Moon is right at the end of the Balsamic Waning phase, about two days before the actual New Moon, when the moon is dark but before the first glimmer of the crescent starts again. Some people see the Dark Moon as the guardian of shadows and mysterious. During the Dark Moon, shadow work tends to be a focus with internal work being safe from judgement. It's a time associated with stillness and wisdom, still connected to the previous cycle and allowing for rest and reflection as the lunar cycle comes to a close.
This came at the end of a lunar cycle that seems to have been focused on shadow work of some description, which I have by no means finished as yet. Shadow work is definitely an ongoing project for me but that's a whole other topic for another day.
It happened to coincide with some events leading up to this lunar event and I'd been feeling out of sorts for a day or so beforehand as well. I couldn't put my finger on why I was feeling like that but the New Moon in Gemini ritual hosted by Emily at Wise Woman Witchery was just what I needed.
Recently, I think I'd been rather hard on myself and possibly with others even if I hadn't meant to be. This led to me feeling like I was failing at what I was doing, how I was communicating, and even how I was understanding others. So I took some time out, some personal time, to just return to myself and rediscover who I am and what I want to do.
The main part of the ritual Emily led was a meditation to a scrying pool so see myself in the reflection, just as I am, seeing a new light being added to the reflection, a light that was the glow of my heart. I was illuminated from within but at the same time, it was outside of me in the reflection. I was invited to see myself, my true self, but also the threads that connect me to the world, to other people, places and animals.
While sitting at this pool, I was invited to love this Self that was looking back at me, that is me. I was also invited to appreciate this part of my Self. It may sound a little egotistical but I do admire the person that I saw, that I have become. I feel like I discovered how important self-love is, that some self-pride is allowed.
So I started writing a letter to myself with all of this. I didn't finish it during the ritual but I do want to make a point of showing myself more love. Since the ritual, I've actually spent more time doing things that I want to do, spending time away from projects that would otherwise limit my me-time. I've also been spending a lot of time with my cats and enjoying their company, sitting with them on my sofa. This has given me back some extra love because when I'm at my desk, they know how to get my attention and distract me from whatever I'm working on. But it's also given me a greater appreciation for the fact that my cats are my companions and that they, in their own way, love me. So if they can love me, I should too.
It's a really personal letter so I won't be sharing it with anyone but I do think it's important to do something like this to show your own Selves love. Love is a powerful thing, and as humans, we seem to have a tendency to only define love as the romantic or familial types. We are creations of Nature and we should honour that love by actually loving ourselves more. We can spend so much time criticising or comparing ourselves with others that we forget that we aren't all meant to look, act or be a certain way, We forget that self-love is so empowering and so we lose that inner connection with who we are.
I've always felt like I didn't fit in but doing these rituals with Emily and her amazing group of friends has helped me to be more confident and accept myself which has then led me to actually love who I am just as I am. I do have a painful memory where I was visiting someone and literally the first comment from them aside from hello was, "Don't you think you're getting a bit big?" This really hurt me because I'm not skinny or slim and have never been either but yet I was seen as not good enough.
I've learned since that visit that I am good enough, and I hope that you all learn to accept and love yourself just as you are because you are good enough. I really hope that I'm not the first person to say it to any of you but if I am, know that even if no one else appears to love you for who you truly are, Nature truly does. If no one else seems to believe in you, I do. You can always do anything that you set your heart on achieving.
Peace and much love to all!!!
You are perfect just as you are 💖