So I took some time to work on my Self-Love and Self-Care routines in 2023 because I wanted to further the Shadow Work that had been my theme of 2022. It's been an eye-opening time for me as it was challenging me to break the habits I had and replace them with better habits.
This was all triggered when I was considering where love starts and who it starts with. Because how can I ask someone else to love me for every part of who I am, when I'm not willing to do this myself? The first love relationship we ever have is with our own selves but we forget this when we focus so much on having the "perfect" romantic relationship with others. So this is what I'm trying to work on through various activities that I am trying to turn into daily habits.
Part of this has been my night-time routine which used to be me just rolling into bed at whatever time and then having a hard time calming my brain enough for me to actually get to sleep. So I tried a Night-Time herbal tisane that is really tasty but it helps to relax and calm me. Something that I've started doing since making this tisane part of my routine is to take care of my body in another way: by moisturising my hands and face with a body butter before I actually get into bed. I've noticed that my face feels smoother and nowhere near as dry as it used to. As well as moisturising before bed, I also do the same after having a bath which has helped make my baths more luxurious and sensual. I'm also using lipbalm more often as well as part of me taking care of my body.
Now that I have a decent amount of freezer space, I'm also better able to feed my body nutritious meals that I hadn't eaten in about a year. Feeding my body what it needs has become very important to me and I've been doing the best I can with teas, tisanes and daily multi-vitamins but it's just not the same as being able to eat the foods that are both comforting and good for me. I've missed being able to cook good food for myself but I have a tendency to batch cook and without a decent amount of freezer space, I would have had to eat the same meal for several days and I like to have options for dinner.
I have spent the last year or so working on keeping my home as tidy as possible so that I can free up my time to truly look after myself in every way. I actually feel better for doing this and I now feel like I can do so much more than what I used to be doing. Looking after my home is part of my self-care because it is just that: MY home. It's where I live on my own with my two adorable cats so I have to look after it if I truly want to look after myself.
Something that I hadn't realised was self-care is my relationship with food. I love my food and usually, I'd cook some pasta bolognese and it would be enough for maybe three meals. But this would usually mean I was cooking a lot of pasta, having a lot of cheese on top, and just generally over-feeding myself with every single portion. So I started to think about portion sizes and how much longer I could make my food last to save money on my shopping bill. Since I started consciously thinking about this, I feel a lot better within myself, and like I'm less likely to need a nap immediately after eating. I'm able to do more and get more things done in a day. Yes, I'm eating more often than I used to but the meals are smaller and spread out throughout the day.
Chocolate and/or sugary foods has always been my comfort food that I turn to when things are challenging. This is something I have wanted to change as it was starting to form quite a large chunk of my food shopping and I'd rather be able to buy other necessities with chocolate being more of a treat. In 2021, I could easily eat a whole 480ml container of store-branded chocolate fudge brownie ice cream within a matter of hours. However at the end of April 2023, I started eating one of these tubs but I only had about half of it before I decided that I'd had enough. Having that self-control is not "normal" for me but I'm embracing it as part of my self-care practices because I'm choosing to eat more healthy and nutritious foods with the occasional treat instead of filling myself up most often with junk food.
Something that I hadn't considered as self-care was my sleeping pattern. I've never really had a decent sleep "schedule", not even as a young child, so I thought my "normal" was being awake most of the night, asleep most of the day and fairly sluggish for the first few hours of being awake. What I do now is I sleep when I feel tired and then I wake up when I feel rested. This helps me to sleep as much as I can so that my physical and mental health can improve.
To wrap everything up, I decided to do a quick reading using a spread by Rose B Mystics that I found online. Rather than using one of my many tarot or oracle decks, I decided to use one of my rune sets.
Why am I special?
Jera
This is the rune that represents a year or a good harvest. It tends to symbolise Thanksgiving energy, which to me is all about gratitude. I suppose that this rune is saying that I am special because I have broken through stagnancy and come to a mentality of hope and gratitude that everything is beautiful or will be beautiful in the end because abundance in the form of wealth (or a good harvest) is not always guaranteed so I am thankful for what I already have.
How can I forgive myself for the mistakes I've made?
Gebo
This is the rune of gifts and giving, but in such a way that is full of balanced give-and-take, of equality between those involved. I feel like this rune is saying that I can forgive myself by not attaching conditions to any displays of love/affection. I seem to have a bad habit of attaching strings to my affection because that is how I was shown affection as a child and that is all I knew. This is definitely something I am working on.
How can I prioritise myself?
Fehu
This rune represents wealth and domestic cattle. I feel like the message of this rune is all about the creation of who I am. I have spent so much of my life trying to be who others wanted me to be, to please others, that I didn't really have any idea who I was or a chance to develop that as I grew from childhood to adulthood.
There's an element of self-esteem and therefore I feel like this rune is indicating that I should work on my sense of self-worth so that I can know my worth.
How can I begin to overcome negative thoughts?
Perthro
This is the rune of mystery and fate. It has also been associated with female mysteries. But I feel like Perthro is saying that I need to follow my intuition so that I can discover my destiny. I have to allow my intuition to develop as much as possible so that I can determine the future of myown path.
There is also an element of fellowship with this rune so I feel like another way I could begin to overcome negative thoughts through companionship.
What have I accomplished?
Isa
This rune represents ice, and feels rather glacial to me. Isa gives me the idea that I have accomplished rather more than I think because when it comes to ice (glaciers and icebergs particularly), most of the body of ice cannot be seen with only the surface being visible.
I think this rune is saying that I have achieved patience, or the ability to stand and wait for what is to come without trying to influence it too much. This energy reminds me of the Hanged Man tarot card.
Why am I so worthy of love?
Dagaz
Some say this rune represents the day, while some believe it represents the dawn. I feel like this rune is saying that I have transformed from who I used to be, or that I need to allow love to transform me. That only love can show me why I am worthy of it because it will show me the new beginning that comes from an ending.
The dawn heralds possibility and potential so I need to realise that new beginnings and cycles are always at work. As the dawn begins, so too does the night end.
Self-love comes in many forms and I am doing my best to realise that I am just as worthy as anyone else - and that does include you, dear magickal reader!! Feeling good about myself and showing myself the same love and care that I show to my loved ones is a long road as I think it's all about forming habits which takes time.
I hope this inspires you to think about other ways you can show yourself some self-love because YOU are worthy too!!!!
Peace and love to all!!!!
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