So aside from the stereotypical symbols associated with witchcraft and living as a Witch, there is also an element of living my life according to my own intuition and heart. That means listening to my inner voice, my inner self, my gut feeling - especially when it's pointing me towards something that I've always enjoyed and have a passion for.
Trusting your own self is not an easy feat to achieve but the more it's done, the easier it becomes. This is something I've learned over the last few years, but it's also something that I've realised has been a pattern in my life.
Every time that I have followed my heart, my life has improved, but every time I haven't done this, my life has steadily gotten worse to the point where I've had suicidal thoughts alongside a mental breakdown. I couldn't handle not doing something that I really wanted to do.
As a child, I couldn't settle on a career I wanted to do apart from something to do with words, like translator or a writer. I originally attempted to study Creative Writing as a degree at university but due to staffing issues, there wasn't enough staff to offer it as a standalone degree so I ended up majoring in English Literature because it had a Creative Writing module in it. But even this didn't help because it wasn't truly what I wanted to be studying so I struggled mentally as well as with my maturity to deal with everything in my life at the time.
One of the most memorable examples from my childhood about this was my guardian would always suggest a career that paid well, like being a forensic scientist because I was good at science in school. But none of the suggested careers sat well with me. I didn't think that I would enjoy the work, regardless of how meaningful it might be.
However, while I was at school, I entered a writing competition where I had the possibility of getting published alongside students of other schools in the area. I entered it and completely forgot about having done so, which meant that I didn't even mention it to my guardian at the time. So when I received something in the mail, it caused rather a stir in the house as my guardian was curious as to why I was receiving post.
Until I opened the packet and read the letter, I had no idea it was regarding my entry to the competition. The packet contained a letter, a proof of my entry and a collection of pens. I had doubted whether my entry would be good enough to be published but I had entered it anyway because that was what I wanted to do. So when my guardian read the letter, the proof of my entry and I'd answered all questions about the competition, they appeared to be rather proud of me. They ordered several copies of the book so that they could be shared with family members.
I do still have a copy of this book and I think it's the first time that I had done something just for me but it had so many other consequences that I'm only just realising. Yes, my family were proud of my achievement but I was even prouder because I had done something for myself, something I wanted to do.
I read my entry recently and it struck me that I've always been called to books and writings. I love reading but I've always enjoyed writing, whether it's poetry or short stories. But also, since I committed myself to writing this blog, in a roundabout way I made a commitment to myself. I made a commitment to myself that I would write about a variety of topics and experiences that I've had over the last year.
Before I had never really thought I would ever be able to call myself a writer, but I've come to realise that I am a writer. Even if I'm just writing this blog, I'm still a writer. It doesn't matter what I write as long as I write because this is what has always called to me.
I've enjoyed writing every single post over the last year and I look forward to writing more posts in the future. I've enjoyed writing these posts because I know that some readers may find my experiences helpful or inspiring and I can only hope that this is the case.
I hope this inspires you all to follow your own dreams, but more specifically your heart. It's important that we don't live to anyone else's standards or expectations because we have enough pressure to live our own lives as it is. I wish you all nothing but success and enough self-belief to realise your own dreams.
Peace and love to all!!!!
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