So the final workshop was all about signs and trusting in my intuition. This is something that I've been looking into outside and before these workshops and I have documented some experiences that I've had this year in other posts (A Bird, A Tree & A Goddess seems most appropriate).
However, this isn't the only sign that I've received. I've received readings from friends that have only been about Shadow Work. Literally the entirety of May was all about Shadow Work from the signs I'd received myself to the various Moon rituals I participated in. At one point, I was trying to tell the Universe that I get it, I need to do more shadow work and I'm doing it so you don't need to keep sending me signs about it but, of course, the Universe has its own plan. I was only partially open to receiving these signs because I was already doing Shadow work but one theme that kept popping up was that I needed to dig deeper. During May, I received 2 readings from a friend in the space of a week and both times, the same card popped up for me and it was literally called "Dig Deeper" (they used the Everyday Witch Oracle deck). From this sign, I knew that I hadn't gone deep enough into my Shadow aspects but I had just had enough of Shadow Work being such a prevalent part of my life in May that I chose to ignore this sign. However, I feel like I've done plenty of Shadow work this week, looking at why I do certain things like not believing in myself completely or looking to others for approval.
So I do and I don't listen to my intuition. I do have those moments where I'm just exasperated and roll my eyes at what is coming up for me, and then there are other times where everything just makes perfect sense once I've pieced everything together. I'm sure this is something that many others experience as well so if you feel the same, that's absolutely fine (and you know you're not alone which has to be a bonus!).
When it comes to my own intuitive energy, again, I don't always listen. I have a habit of taking on responsibilities that I may not need to carry. I usually tell myself that if I don't do it, then no one else is likely to and that once the job is done, then it's done and I don't have to worry about it anymore. But this isn't always a concept that works for me. Sometimes, I set boundaries that don't last very long and this is what trips me up. I have learned that I do need to keep to my boundaries and that if others can't respect those boundaries then it's time to consider saying goodbye.
This week, I've definitely learned to be less "lazy" when it comes to doing readings and that I can listen to my intuition about which deck to use for each individual. I've also gained more confidence in how to read some of my decks without using a guidebook, so this is something that I'm now doing more often.
I'm not a massively social kind of person. I much prefer the hermit life that I've now lived for two years because I don't have to be social if I don't want to be. I can choose who I associate with and how I do that. So when I do have my social moments, I have a tendency to put some form of mask on. I'm rarely just my authentic self with anyone because I'm still wanting people to approve of me and my life. This is an aspect of my shadow that I am working on integrating slowly but surely, so this is proof that I still have Shadow work to do.
However, my reader friend just this week did another reading for me that ties into these workshops. One of the tarot cards I received was the King of Wands in reverse and the message of this card was that I need to trust in myself, my path and the outcome. I need to stop holding myself back and that I also need to stop looking to the opinions of others over my own for guidance. But my friend also pulled a couple of oracle cards for me with the most relevant being Sophia. The Sophia card was all about needing to trust in myself, in my own guidance, in the Divine and also in my intuition - which was the whole point of these workshops.
I am like most people, doubting sometimes whether I've made the right decision or choice but I have to learn that if the decision/choice sits well within my, then it was the right one for me to make at that moment in time. I think this stems back to my childhood where I always had to get approval from my guardian first before doing anything. This is very heavily ingrained that I know this will take a while to integrate this particular Shadow but I know that the effort and time will be worth it.
I rarely ask for signs from Spirit about any topic but I do appreciate them when they do pop up. I've always loved owls and through them being a constant presence in my life recently, I've come to love them even more due to their spiritual nature. I have discovered through growing some plants from seeds that three of my 5 different plants have an association with the Moon so I'm literally growing my own Moon Garden - this may or may not be a sign that I should learn more about the Moon or that I should work with her cycles more, but I'm sure I'll find out in due course.
I think it's definitely time for me to set solid boundaries around what I can/will do for myself. I know it's time that I started to truly believe in myself and what I'm doing now as well as my plans for the future. It's time for me to stop giving my power away and take it back for myself.
I hope this inspires you to listen to your own selves and your own intuition. It's never too late to learn how to listen to your own gut feelings.
Peace and love to all!!!
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